Life presents us with so many questions...and as a race...the human race...we struggle to categorize and answer each question. I do it...you do it...we all do it...It doesn't make us wrong...it's just within our nature. I believe one of the greatest unanswered mysteries is what it means to be in love...
Media tells us it is timeless...there's usually a picture of a diamond ring and a young couple deliriously happy portraying it...but then our divorce rates climb every day. In fact...if you want to see miserable couples...go out to eat on Valentine's Day...there are usually a lot of relationships that end that entire week...But...then I have friends who have wonderful...loving relationships...I work with people who are excited to go home and be with their significant other...I used to be that way...until I wasn't...
For most of my life...I have feared that I didn't have the ability to love...then I discovered that I did...a huge capacity...and then I proceeded to have my heart broken...again...and again...and again...It wasn't until this past year that I realized that I didn't know how to look for love in others...I took what was tossed at me...or searched for the perfect blend of what was socially acceptable...
The truth is...I don't think I care anymore...not about love...but what everyone else will be okay with...what they will approve of...I don't care...If someone has the ability to love me...all of me...be tender...be strong but gentle...read me...want to read me...eat the food I cook...make fun of me when my behavior warrants...and know when there is pain behind my actions and choose not to tease...because they cherish my heart...If they let me into theirs...let me settle deep in its' recesses...look into my eyes when we talk...pause breathless when I walk into a room...think that I have dressed up...when I haven't....think my crazy...growing out hair is beautiful...even in the morning...
When I can look into his eyes and see the contours of my face and a slight smile on his face...when he holds my hand while driving three blocks...When he is kind to my pets and isn't afraid of my flowered sheets...When he leaves me at my keyboard...saying I'll give you some time to write you blog...take your time...I'll be in the living room...
When he holds my face in his hands and says....you are beautiful just the way you are...what I love is who you are inside...the outside doesn't last forever...what is inside of you will never change...that is what I want...When he can hold me through the night...and right as he folds me in his arms...he says...you fit perfectly...That's what I want...to fit perfectly...even if it looks weird to everyone else...or unacceptable...or against the grain...
For me...this is what it means...to be in love...
I believe I've found him...
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