Not a day goes by that I don't speak with a client and a deep dark secret is revealed...One day...after extracting an important morsel of information that allowed for a client to be helped...a jail staff member dubbed me the Jail Whisperer...It was funny...at the time...in truth...it is sad that I have the ability to help someone's devastated soul unburden itself...in fact...it is often a burden for me...And...yet...without even trying...individual's find that they cannot but share their deepest pain...even more unnerving is that I know why...I am a woman of secrets....
At a very early age...I made it my life's work to create an illusion of what I wanted to be...I didn't know how to become that person...but I knew how to appear to be that person. It is a scary use of the mind and soul and artistry to paint a face on yourself that causes others to see you the way you wish to be seen...I have often thought that if I had put as much energy into becoming what I desired...I would now be the first woman president...but then I would have been blamed for the BP oil spill....
It wasn't until late in life that I decided to actually become the person I had always dreamed of...and the greatest challenge is losing people who liked the pretend you and not the real you...I've actually found that the real me is incredibly powerful...and although there are people who don't like it..it doesn't matter...because I know who I am...now...When it's a mask you wear...you don't know who you are underneath...even you are deceived by the costumes and lighting...It is no surprise that I found myself skilled in theater...
The great irony is that I found myself...truly found myself...working with individuals who are primarily lost...in one way or another...I see them...really see them...I recognize their pain...and I feel their secrets...I have been them...thief...addict...murderer...dealer...pimp...prostitute...thug...manipulator...antisocial...mentally ill...victim...perpetrator...
As you search for me in the Department of Corrections Inmate Look up...I warn you that you will not find my face...the people that I have been...are my deepest secrets...I am the invisible woman standing in the middle of a crowded room...and that's alright...really it is...while others are roaring...I am listening...My mask is off...I see myself...for who I am...sinner or saint...I sleep well at night...finally...because I know that even with this additional revelation...there is always something deeper that I have not shared...
Secret...Secret...I have a secret....
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