Most of my life I have been a failure...I've failed to keep my family together...I've failed at marriage...I have failed to maintain personal financial stability...and I've failed many college classes...dropped them first...but failed...
I don't keep my weight from fluctuating...I often don't make my bed...I am not able to raise a dog...I can't help but bring hurt animals home...I irritate people...I go against the grain...I'm a rebel...in a geeky sort of way...My pie crust is less than average...I collect too much stuff...and over extend myself....
I don't work out regularly...and I have a weakness for birthday cake...I struggle sometimes from depression...and I can't have children...I want to be with people...but want to be alone...Sometimes...I cry in the shower...Sometimes...I skip a shower...I skip breakfast too...and...often...lunch...
I struggle with patience...and fall in love too quickly...I believe too long in the wrong people...and not long enough...in those who are right for me...and when I get fed up...I cut ties for good...but I believe in second chances...
I'm not a joiner...I'm not a follower...I don't like to be tied down...but often do it to myself...I feel too much...and run my mouth more...I am empathetic...and a bulldozer...often at the same time...I am a true believer and....have never believed that anyone would really stay in my life...that I would always be alone...I am a fighter...for others...and a doormat...for those I love...
I know too much...and not enough...I have gifted instincts...and struggle to follow my gut...except...when there is food involved...and lately I am just tired...bone tired...with no patience or filter...and yet...today...all 133 of my students wrote essays for a state test...No one refused...Oh sure...ten wrote the fewest possible sentences...but all the rest...wrote with abandon...some used vocabulary words I had taught them...all in their best handwriting...and every single one of them agreed to retest in reading...to show how smart they really are...and fifty-one signed up for an additional study track...for no additional credit...because I offered...because I asked...and because...somehow...I led them to believe that they are amazing...and not failures...
I'm probably not doing anything right...I know I'm ticking people off...and I'm positive that when I die...I will go to a hell...that has icy water...where I will spend eternity in a rocking boat...because that's what I do...but I promise you...if you join me...I'll offer one...well..one hell of a ride...and don't worry about calling ahead...
I'll save you a seat...
