I like to say the romance comes easy to us all and thanks to the nine billion dollars that are spent every year on movies to show us what romance is...we should be up to out eyeballs in it. We should all be in love with someone and in the arms of the person who cherishes us most. But...then again movies like "The English Patient," "Karma Sutra" and "Anna and the King," warn us that love kills...is unrequited...and just beyond our reach.
So, what does one do when you meet someone who makes you feel different...someone who...for some inexplicable reason...leaves you giddy and a bit breathless...is it just another pretend panic attack or is it a sign that maybe they are someone special in your life...someone to be acknowledged and pursued...in a non stalking way.
What if they think they are attracted to you because they are lonely and they don't know it yet...all the while you are developing stronger feelings and seeing this as a blossoming relationship. What if you don't believe that anyone will ever love you...that the closest you'll get to love is someone putting you on a pedestal...assuming that someone else really amazing will come along for you and it couldn't possibly be them.
When did love become so complicated? What happened to a handful of wildflowers?....a note on your pillow? a pebble tapping your window, so that your love can climb to the window and kiss you one last time for the night. What happened to kissing in the rain?...meeting someone at the door to welcome them home...or cooking a meal together...brushing up against one another...standing so close to the other person that you can smell their hair or the nape of their neck...
What happened to saying, "Are you alright?" or "You look beautiful" or "So handsome." What happened to "don't worry....it will be ok..." even if it won't or it's not that simple. What happened to having your lover brush that unruly hair out of your eyes and touch the side of you face....What happened to laughing at each other just for the sake of laughing...giggling in the night...nose to nose...looking into each other's eyes...wasting film in a camera to take silly pictures of each other and writing in lipstick on the mirror that you will be thinking of them all day?
When I want to learn something new or strengthen my skills...I take a class...like art...I can't just sit down and drawn the Sistine Chapel or even a piece of fruit...but if I take classes...if I practice...make mistakes...break pencils...I will eventually created something that will make me proud....but there are no classes for what I want...there really aren't books that will give all the answers or even some of them. So, what do I do...do I wait...do I restrain my desire to bulldoze a situation...do I give up hope...do I hope like a dreamer...only to one day die alone...
I fear that I am no artist...love eludes me...and therefore I must misunderstand the art of romance...
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