Nanny Nanny Boo Boo...

I find that I have this odd relationship with the universe...I like to believe that I call the shots...and the universe constantly puts the brakes on my shot calling...Sometimes...I have no idea why my movement comes to a screeching halt...and then there are days like today...when I know why I have been placed in cement galoshes...

I am the Queen of Speed...not the amphetamine...but that urge to move things along...make things happen...I'll push and push...until I've moved myself great distances...until I've moved my project to the top...until I have pushed outcomes beyond expectations...and until I collapse in a heap...on the hardwood...I'm actually writing from the floor right now...

I had everything set for tomorrow...all tasks lined up...my mind racing through each step...jumping from one item on my To Do list...to another...all the while my eyes are closed to slits...burning incessantly...Yesterday...I was so tired that I slipped while pushing the rolling trash can to the curb...the can fell sideways...and I fell in it...on the street...in broad daylight...and I couldn't get out...not a shining moment...I stumbled into the house...blood running from my knee to my ankle...whispering curses...and I was forced to slow down...I was limping...I couldn't go faster...the universe was pointing and laughing...

Tonight...I pulled together everything I needed for my Praxis exam...(teacher test)...I ran through my practice tests...and went to print my ticket for my exam entrance...tomorrow at 8am...It wasn't there...Son of a...I heard a universal chortle...But truth be known...I'm not ready for the test...too many projects...too many worries...too many things piled on my plate...I knew it as soon as I saw what was missing...Hell...I'm still limping from my trash can tango...

I know I have to complete everything...I know that I'll do it...I also know that the universe will protect me from myself...This isn't about my doing the wrong thing...this is about me doing the right thing...but not pacing myself...and I suppose it takes a skinned and bruised knee...or a missing ticket to slow me down...make me stop and think about what I'm doing or need to do...I don't like it...I actually don't like being told what to do...but I need it...I don't have anyone in my life to be that voice...and I am a driven woman...a bit of a steamroller...in the nicest way...but heavy equipment none the less...and the universe knows this...

So...I'm at a grinding halt...I have to go back to the drawing board...retrace my steps...and fix these issues...revamp...and probably rest...the universe knows this too...My guess is that the universe wants me to know what and why I'm receiving these good things...It wants me to finish each and every project...to close the book on everything I have started...and then and only then...will I be allowed to move on...But...I have a few tricks up my sleeve...I don't claim to be smarter than the universe...but with a bit of sleep...and maybe yoga in the morning...my cat-like reflexes will be back...and we'll see if the universe can keep up with me...maybe it will be the universe head first in the trash can tomorrow...just sayin'...

Nanny nanny boo boo...stick your head....