I Should and I Shouldn't.....

I think we all can agree that doing the Should and Shouldn't thing really isn't fair to yourself...it's also a passive way of monitoring yourself with no commitment.  Fact is...it doesn't matter....we all do this....we say it out loud..."I shouldn't have this cookie."  "I should work out today."  I don't know anyone who doesn't Should and Shouldn't.  I spent all day doing this today...."I should change out of my pajamas."  "I should get my ass off the couch."  "I shouldn't play Diablo 2."  I still laid on the couch, in my pj's, playing Diablo...I shouldn't be telling you this....

So, I decided that I should make a list of all the things that I Should or Shouldn't do, but that I never commit to...this should be embarrassing....

I Should.....

• get out of bed at a decent time on Saturday and Sunday.
• vacuum every day (I have two cats...geez, the fur gets everywhere).
• exercise one hour every day.
• get up an hour early each morning to exercise for one hour every day.
• make a list of projects that I need to do.
• actually start doing the things I listed on my project list.
• sign up for voice lessons again (I sing, but use my voice very little these days, except in karaoke bars).
• sign up for Fencing lessons again (I Fence, but haven't practiced since 1998...Fencing has nothing to do with building a fence...just saying).
• do Bikram yoga a couple times a month (I used to do it two times a week).
• do yoga several times a week (I used to do it every day).
• read more (I used to read all the time).
• drink only one margarita, instead of two or three or four.
• get myself a karaoke machine.

I Shouldn't.....

• be so sarcastic.
• be so stressed about my life.
• be so hard on myself.
• think about the guys who are emotionally unavailable.
• try to figure out what I did wrong that made the emotionally unavailable men push me away.
• date emotionally unavailable men.
• let emotionally unavailable men kiss me, especially when they give "movie kisses" and don't know how to use their tongue (that was a weird experience and I had to wash my face afterwards).
• have sex with them either.
• online game...(yeah, that's going to happen).
• watch YouTube at work (I missed Glee on Tuesday).
•  blame myself for my divorce.
• drink things that stain my rubber bands on my "hot" braces.
• drink four margaritas.
• drink four margaritas in a karaoke bar.
• sing "Big Spender" at that karaoke bar, after four margaritas and smack my own ass during the song.
• dance on a chair at that karaoke bar to "Baby's Got Back" (I'm probably on YouTube.)
• wear platform heels, in the Atlanta airport, that make me fall flat on my face, in front of a bunch of people. 
• carry a torch for someone for 25 years (he's not in my life and never will be...what the hell have I been doing).
• believe in magical romance (what the hell...again).
• believe in love at first sight.
• eat so many sweets, when I have moments of clarity about the realities of love.
• be so quick to put myself down.
• assume that if someone doesn't like me or want me or respond to me that there is something wrong with me.
• "should" all over myself...period.