I was eight years old...when I first watched the movie...even at that young age...I connected with George Bailey...wanting so much...huge dreams...and life taking you in another direction. I knew immediately...I was George...I dreamed of doing great things...of rushing past the bonds that I felt held me back...and just like George...life took me on a crooked path...
Every year...I have watched the movie...and cried...George never was able to leave...he was stuck...he never was able to realize his dream...This past Christmas...I couldn't watch it all the way through...it was just too painful...I had no Clarence to show me what life would be like without me...I was less than George Bailey...I felt alone...
Then today... temperatures rapidly climbing...hot sun beating down...just a slight cool breeze blowing...I thought about George once again...and I smiled...You remember the end...where he comes back...bursting through his living room door...and the house is filled with the town...everyone giving what they can...loving George with every gesture? I know that moment...
Tonight...two girlfriends...in their 60's...picked me up...fed me fish tacos and margaritas...got me to swear and laugh so loud that people were staring...the air was cool and breezy...my house is almost packed...and I'm broke as can be...my cats ran around in the yard...and my next door neighbor had taken my trash out to the curb...I had laughed at work with a colleague and friend...I had received emails from people who were sad to see me go...and my friend in Otis had a ticket for me to attend...yet another function...
It was fantastic...I was drunk...on margaritas...friendship...freedom...daring...dreams...love...and life...I'm broke and I don't care...I'm in my forties and single...and I don't care...I live alone with two cats...and I don't give a damn...I love it...I love myself...my imperfect...sing songy way of doing things...my matter of factness...my braces coming off tomorrow...my everything up in the air...my diving off a cliff...my brazen...daredevil...I double dog dare you ability to take life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground...
What the hell...through caution to the wind...stand naked on the porch...let the neighbors talk...and grin the entire time... dammit...
It's a wonderful life...
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