I've never thought of myself as a romantic...idealist...yes...believer in love...yes...hopeful about the future...yes...but the concept of being swept away...that someone would come along...and save me...from...everything...or anything...just didn't make sense to me...and I've never seen myself as powerless...frozen...yes...conflicted...yes...lost...yes...but I knew that all the answers lie in my heart...and head...
As I walked through America's place to shop...and wear spandex...with a tube top...Wal-Mart...I was overwhelmed...with the hearts...flowers...candy...balloons...over sized stuffed animals...and tremendous push...to give in...and tell someone that they are special...that even though you haven't said it this year...that you really do love them...and love comes with a price tag...
I forced myself to walk the aisles...and contemplate...why I had never cared for this holiday...and how I felt about it now...that my life had morphed...changed...blossomed...how I would approach this holiday...with someone new in my life...and what I believed it really meant to be romantic...and here's what I came up with...
Romance...is being tired...coming home...and the other person has taken care of dinner...Love...is doing the dishes...which you hate to do...after the other person has made dinner...Romance...is doing the dishes together...Romance is watching someone's eyes...and telling them...that it is wonderful the way they shift to the left when they speak...or that you love the ending of their very loud laugh...or that you could talk with them for hours...or brushing that strand of hair out of their eyes...letting your hand linger to trace the shape of their face...and Romance is about buying Finding Nemo for him...and he buys you the electric sander you've been eyeing at Home Depot...
The cost of Romance...is great...it is risking your heart...over and over...acting with the belief that if you give...that committing the act of giving is enough...it is putting their needs before yours...it is asking what they want...and remaining steadfast in the act of giving...when they choose something different than what you might secretly wish...and staying in the room with them during the discussion...
It doesn't matter how you candy coat it....or what rose petals lead you to the decision...to give of yourself...again and again...each time you do...each time you Romance the apple of your eye...sometimes dollars will be spent...but not necessarily on only one day a year...Odds are...you will Romance without dropping a dime..after all...that mountain wildflower you picked for them...doesn't come with a price tag...
Imagine what it would be like...to see a door being opened for you...through the eyes of Romance...or that soup and cornbread...made just the way you like it...with fresh corn...as a visual representation of that other person...Romancing you...by keeping you warm...and nurtured...and cared for...or waking to...the dogs already having been walked...on your morning for handling the responsibility...because it's cold outside...and they wanted you to sleep a little longer...then...instead of waiting for February...you take that person's hand...and you say thank you...right at that moment...letting them know that you see them...really see them...I don't know about you...but really...any day...
...isn't that romantic...
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