When I was a child...I committed myself...to memorizing all fairy tales...and nursery rhymes...there was...well...no rhyme or reason...it was just my belief...that they held all the mysteries...and answers... to life...Whenever I was sick...which was often...I read...no...committed to memory...each story...riddle and rhyme...and prepared myself for the retelling...with all honor and respect...for a mother...who looked like a bird...
Jack Sprat and his wife...opened my eyes...to the idea that...two people did not have to mirror each other...to reach fulfillment and a common goal...licking a platter clean...Georgie Porgie...warned me of impulsive behavior...which I struggled with...daily...that chasing after everyone...and everything would only make those things...run from me...and Little Miss Muffet...prepared me for my greatest fears...that I would have to face...if I didn't want to lose my dinner...literally...and figuratively...But...the most important...and pivotal lesson...came from Humpty Dumpty...falling from grace...breaking...and others trying to fix him...
Four years ago...I sat on a wall...looking down...from a very high place...unaware of how very fragile my life was...and that I was not in control...When the fall came...I was unprepared...and lay broken...shattered...in thousands of pieces...and all the king's horses...and men...couldn't put me back together again...
So there I remained...reaching out...pulling each fractured piece...of my shell...back towards me... shifting their positions...in an attempt...to replicate...my puzzled self...to no avail...It seemed at times...that all my gooey insides...were running all over the place...because they were...mixed up...brain scrambled...and my emotions...well...nothing was in check...
Then...I stopped trying...trying to fix...trying to grasp answers...trying to pretend...and I sat very still...very still...when I did move...they were small movements...imperceptible...to the human eye...storms came and went...seasons changed...and I found myself blown...in a new direction...many times...Until...at last...all became calm...and there was rest...for the forces of my nature...
When the light...broke through the clouds...and began to shine upon my head...I saw the cracks and fissures...that I had once feared...revealed...something greater...more wonderful...than anything...I could have done on my own...no one thing fixed me...nobody...put me back together...because the together life I had lived...was just a shell...that hid the greatest parts of me...and it took falling...to break that façade...to release all that I tucked away...from the world...and myself...
So the moral to the story...a fall from...so called grace...is sometimes necessary...to break with habits...that keep us high up...that keep us safe...the danger is all that distance from the ground...and sometimes broken...is the best place to start...because...in the light of day...all that chaos...that we were running from...is really quite true...and honest...and beautiful...Ahhh...that devilishly clever poultry figure...
Mother Goose knows all...
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