Everyone has their core issue...usually...it is a strength that is also a weakness...mine is not being a very good follower...I'm not good at being an Indian...I naturally lean toward being a chief...What that means...is that I step up to the plate...constantly...It's an easier transition for me to organize...analyze...and produce for groups...and if there is a group project I'm involved in...I know how to align our goals...delegate responsibilities...hone talents...keep humor in the mix...and all under the auspices that I am not in charge...but I am...In all...I am not a Lemming...best case...I am a wolf in Lemming clothing...
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the terminology...I'll take charge and give you the 4-1-1...A Lemming is a small rodent...motivated by irrepressible biological urges that will drive hundreds of them to their death in deep water...all for the purpose of following...following urges...following the leader...the call...and the crowd...If I were a Lemming...I would be the one that would split off from the herd and start building a bridge...at the other end of the river...
So...what have I done?...I joined a monstrously...huge organization...that has to maintain a strict structure...to ensure that it's people succeed...and don't make a mess of their vision...But then...I tend to have my own vision...much to the chagrin of others...in my life...A short phone call to my mother...will verify that I have the gift of getting under someone's skin...and irritating them...with the question...why?...why?...why?...I like to serve that with a side of ...here's my thoughts...
Now...it would be easy to assume that this aspect of my personality...is designed to rebel...to get on people's nerves...to go against the grain...In reality...it is just a part of my nature..it is what has saved my life...my sanity...and led me to help others...in ways that break cycles...crack the catch -22's...and catapult others to exciting heights...Because of my processes...many have sharpened sticks into darts...and dipped them in back's of poisonous toads...waiting for me to walk by...I have my fair share of dings and scratches...from a blow dart...
While others have been struggling with lack of sleep...fear of deadlines...personal conflicts...and the challenges that go along with truly being out on your own...for the first time...I have been battling the urge to redesign...to coordinate a movement...to raise my hand...every fifteen minutes and advise...how annoying....obviously...And...yet...even I have a multitude of moments...where I cannot fight anymore against the waves of faces racing to...like ants...like schools of fish...like lemmings...
At the end of each day....exhaustion overtakes me...and I am no longer hungry...just parched...thirsty in a way that no water can quench...Maybe I just need to slow down...long enough to get a drink...something that will re-hydrate my motivation...something that will take me through to the end...and ...hey...it looks like everyone else is holding a cup...except me...I've been too busy trying to direct traffic...on the shaded side of the street....Maybe I just need to step over to the sunnier side...and follow for awhile...instead of lead...and while I'm moving with the crowd...instead of against it...maybe I'll get that thirst quenching liquid that I need...I can almost see the pitcher now...
It looks like someone is making lemmings into lemonade...
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