I'll Racist You to the Finish Line...

I was on the phone...speaking with someone who was interested in dating me...We had spoken several times...I told him what I do for a living...check...I am passionate about helping people...check...I believe in all people...check...in the goodness and brilliance...that we all possess...check...and then the question came at me...from left field...Do you socialize with them?...Them who?...You know...them...I didn't know what he was asking....

Several vague...but adamant questions later...I began to make my deductions...as to what he was asking...Do I socialize with anyone who isn't white?...My answer...without thought...Who do you think you are...to even ask that question?  But...beyond telling him that I wasn't interested in speaking with him again...I didn't know what to say...

This happened several weeks ago...and I think about this all the time...I had to ask myself...if I had said enough...if I had a responsibility to do more...I'm color blind...and I have no family...so I haven't found myself in situations where I've been asked to make decisions that eliminate anyone from my life...But...I had to ask myself if that was a blessing or a curse...

I was accused of not having a stance on anything...that I had no value system...and I feel that I do...should I be doing more?  Somehow...I felt guilty...somewhere deep inside...that I had...by not having to deal with racism...in my own life...had somehow sidestepped important issues...had bypassed taking a stand...and this has weighed heavy on my heart...

I began to think about all of the people who had made racist jokes around me...or side comments...or bold...negative statements...and I knew that I hadn't stepped up to the plate...and made a solid stand...I had silently given a disapproving look...or just walked away...And I had to ask...was that really enough?

I feel that I have failed...in some way...to wear my color blindness as a badge of honor...I'm seeing that now...as I argue and debate...over the topics that will be talked about in my future classes...I see that I owe my students...unwavering courage in talking about tough topics...allowing them to ask tough questions of me...and that my family will be one of many colors...and I should defend my family...Just being color blind is not enough...It can't be my excuse...I am too old and too experienced to be naive...

So...I begin now...there is nothing more beautiful than a smiling face...yesterday...I made an African American man blush a lovely crimson...today...I held a Hispanic woman's hand...next week I will teach round...smiling faces that don't have to use the same SPF as I...I can tell you...that many of my most wonderful friends...have amazing cocoa skin...that I would give anything to have...and not one of my friends...no matter what their pigmentation...is less amazing than the other...I am only too grateful that I have not been judged by my hair...or my weight...or my smile...or my learning disability...by them...

Bigotry is a problem...it's a disease...a disease of the mind...You would think that we would be tired of it...worn out to the core...all this running in fear...running in packs...running over this issue...Life is not about this sort of race...It can't be won...by anyone...and quite frankly...it's getting a little old having some one turn to me and say....

I'll racist you to the finish line...