They say that the impression that is the most honest...the most truthful...the most lasting...happens in the first 6 seconds... not when you are listing your skills...not when you are sharing anecdotes...or dazzling with witty retorts...It all comes down to the moment you first connect...hand touches hand...or not...voice greets voice...and eyes meet...or not...In those precious few seconds...a belief is formed...the subconscious speaks loudly and freely...and the opinion is locked in...You can rationalize forever...but the impression has been made...like a hand sinking into quick drying cement...or the moment you realize a flower is a weed...
Your first instinct...there is a big problem here...a roadblock...an impassable impasse...Pause...No...I'm just creating a problem...you say to yourself...The eyes shift...not quite meeting your gaze...then shift back...They smile...a seed has been planted...
You overcome the moment...with sunny disposition...and water it with generosity and hopefulness...and so the seed splits...and the first sprout appears...Delicate and tender...you see this as growth...the beginnings of something new...sure to blossom into the most wondrous flower...vibrant and swaying in the beams of your positive thoughts...but then...for a moment...weren't you positive that this would not work...ah well...it was only six seconds...no time to weed through your thoughts...Maybe...you were wrong...
The clock ticks...and the relationship is in its first days...the tiny leaves are breaking away from the stem of your first encounter...Surely...this will be the most beautiful bud...possibly an azalea...oohh...maybe a rose...and so your hopes rise...You are lifted to unimaginable heights...as you imagine the future growth...The higher this potential floral explosion reaches...the hazier the remembrance of your first thoughts...a bit like the haze that drifted across their face...when you first reached for their hand...and they leaned away from you...But...now...that you are thinking more clearly...you can see that they were just being respectful...How could you be so wrong?
The roots appear to be setting...as you feel that you are finally planted firmly...on your own two feet...How wonderful this is that you have matured...grown...and that you see things...as they truly are...except for that little...sharp...spiny...or is it a thorn...coming out the side...or sticking in yours...But...you know...there is always bad with good...a bit of uncomfortability?...Is that a word?...well...maybe you will use it...surely ...it should be...you're all about conforming to...you mean confronting the new...keep your head about you...or you'll lose this...by being wrong...
A few weeks later...or a month...a pod develops...odd looking...angry...no...ugly...no...that's unfair...you're not giving it a chance...it just needs time...time heals all wounds...like that scratch that you received from...that thing on the stem...that pierced you...you bleed...but only for a moment...there were a couple of minor gouges...but nothing...you know...serious...You...must have misunderstood...it wasn't it's fault...you weren't paying attention...you needed to be more considerate...yes...you were in the wrong...
One day...that pod...rears it's head...cracking open...pushing...curling back...to expose...something you can't describe...you've lost your words...you can't put your finger on it...literally...or is that figuratively...maybe both...But...you are so invested in this...this thing...this no named neediness...this over arching aching...maybe from the sore...no...it's from the heart...you're pretty sure...it must be love...or it will be eventually...and this growing entity...will absolutely...thank you...thank you for all the time...the moisture you've teared over it...the efforts...the hours...and the clouded hope...you have given...surely...about this...you can't be wrong...
Because...the blossom you felt you flowered...now burns your eyes...keeps you up at night...sleepless...blowing your nose...tearing up...raw skin...swollen...and keeps you from breathing...No matter how hard you try...to believe...something would change...after those first six seconds...it didn't...you did...you trusted the untrustable...instead of trusting your instincts...A weed is just a weed...it's always a weed...and you know it...you cannot make it a flower...your lavishing love doesn't have that power...about this...one can never be wrong...
So...when you whacked it down...and everyone shook their heads...saying...how could you do that...maybe it would have been beautiful...yes...it felt uncomfortable...yes...you are allowed to wonder...yes...you may appear ruthless...But...when you sleep the night through...finally...know...don't question...in the beginning...
No...you were right
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