I Believe in Peanut Butter Cups...

I have always been an idealist...a dreamer...a true believer...almost to my detriment...Even as I charted my course through the stormy sea of my childhood...and the uncharted waters of my adult life...I have always believed...believed...that if I believe...it...whatever it is...it would happen...and so has my life unfolded....

I teach young men and young women now...halflings...part adult...part child...and many live lives...where they find it impossible to believe...where dreams are dangerous...and so is reality...They often walk on the edge of a slippery...deep...cup...where every moment puts them in danger of sliding in...tumbling into a tiny world...with no escape...a prison...in their own minds...

I wish I was being over dramatic...I'm not...as much as I dream...I have this part of me that has emerged...all realist...it is with these eyes that I see my students...and I have been there...on that precipice...in danger of falling...sliding into nothingness...what I felt I was...nothingness...

Over the past months...two of my young women...have spoken to me about their desires...big dreams...which pained them...because they felt there was no way...no way in hell...that they would ever...and they told me...they consulted...they pleaded with their eyes...what should I do...is it wrong to ask...and I told them...keep pushing...don't stop...what steps can you take...and each time they fell...they came back...back for more...more hope...and I scooped it up and gave it to them...with my cup...the one I wield...instead of balancing on the edge of these days...

Last week...one of my gals...sat...head in hands...moist eyed and trembling lipped...it's not going to happen...I can't find a job...I'm going to be stuck here...I'll never get out...and...I put down my cup...and lifted her with all my might...my spirit trembling...my voice calm...We are going to get you a job...But no one wants me...Yes they do...they just don't know it yet...next Wednesday...they will know you...we will go together...we will find them...

And so Wednesday came...and met my weary body and soul...and my girl...leading another girl...shining eyes...hair in place...lip gloss...and mascaraed eyes...imperfect perfection...my god...was that me...many years ago...is this what believing is...and somewhere in my body...I felt it...that swelling...bursting feeling...when you know...you just know...and they drank from my cup...softly giggling...as we walked to my car...

I drove us to the first store on our list of stops...a small store...that held no more promise than any other...We took a moment...to straighten our shoulders...throw back our hair...and stare the wind...straight in the face...Hello...may I speak with a manager...I am...My name is Mickie Lewis...and I would like to introduce you...to two of my wonderful...hard working students...who are looking for summer employment...This is such perfect timing...we are in desperate need of people...and we were going to send someone to your school...to recruit...

As I watched my girls...stand straighter...speak more politely...and glow from inside out...it seemed the dingy walls fell away...and the merchandise...held so much promise...and as they shook hands with the woman...I'm so glad you came in...I so hope that I get to work with you...in my store...I saw it...it...the it...someone wants me...me...me...me

The last stop...another store...where I purchased a king size Reeses for a dollar...and sat in the car...with my two new disciples of dreaming...burgeoning believers...I offered them one...in celebration...a different cup...than the one that they had been balancing on the edge of...They stole glances at it...not used to this feeling...believing in it...that it might disappear...It's here...it's real...today happened...this cup seals the deal...once you eat this...it's part of you...you'll never look at a Reeses the same again...and I watched as they reached with trembling hands...for this sweet confection...glistening eyes...and took a bite...they believed...and so I...I believe in it...the it...and all of it's magic...and

I believe in peanut butter cups....