When I was a kid, I could never understand why the adults in the Peanuts cartoons made the "wah, wah, wah" sound, while the kids were able to be understood. I found it annoying and confusing. Now...I'm in my 40's and I see that the cartoon was actually quite realistic. It's not that what adults say is senseless...it's that we have all adjusted our emotional hearing aids...and "wah, wah, wah" is mostly what we hear...until the person says a buzz word that we're listening for....which what we react to....considering that Schultz was an adult, when he wrote Peanuts...it all makes a lot of sense. I still find it annoying and confusing...
After months of trying to get back out there, when I became suddenly single...I found myself asking...constantly....what didn't they understand?...what did I say?...why are they acting weird?...Then it occurred to me this morning, as adults we are issued an emotional hearing aid and we adjust it according to our current issues or needs....For example, you might feel anything...let's say...lonely...so, you adjust your EHA (emotional hearing aid...I'm trying to avoid typing that over and over) to allow a certain amount of static/interference and then you call someone up....They say, "I miss having time available to do things. What are you doing? This weekend I'd like to see a movie...I love action films. Do you?" Thanks to your trusty EHA, you hear, "I miss...wah, wah, wah....you. This...wah, wah, wah...weekend...crackle, crackle...I love...static, static...you." Oh thank God....that was exactly what you needed to hear.
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of this....oh buddy...I am...but, so is everyone else out there. If you dance around an issue, the other person assumes that all that crackle and static is a dying battery. If you are succinct and terse in your responses, the other person responds in shock, "How could you be so blunt and unfeeling?"... EHA...
Sometimes...your EHA will actually reassemble the letters used in the words...in the sentences....as if what the other person is saying is an emotional anagram...That's how you can be talking on a date and say "I have two xylophones at home" and the other person will respond "I want to have sex with you too..." Then they take your look of confusion as blatant, overwhelming lust....
Shoot...I know that I use my EHA at work...sometimes it's what gets me through the day. Sometimes I just turn my EHA off and stare blankly...waiting to see if the other person is aware that I am hearing nothing. And...I am positive that my EHA has driven my intimate relationships....for better and for worse....I have heard that a person loves me when they probably said "I love the socks you are wearing" and I heard "I love you!!"...I don't know about you...but my EHA adds exclamation points when I'm particularly excited about what I've decided to hear...
This just solidifies my belief that I need to put my EHA in the shop...get some new batteries and take a course in body language....I can't continue in the land of my own delusions...it's tough enough dealing with everyone else's. I just want to be able to have a clear conversation and leave the confusion at home ....what I really feel is wah...wah...wah...wah...wah...great...wah...wah ...with...wah...wah...you....
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