Morose Code...

I read something the other day that said if you feel confused in a relationship the other person doesn't love you, because when they love you, you always know where you stand.  I started thinking about when things work in a relationship....anyone can ask you, at any time, how things are going for you two and, between the grinning like you have mental issues, flushing of your cheeks and tripping over things, you barely have to say a word.  When things go bad, or they are bad, you can't say enough and they usually sound like explanations.  "Oh, they've been working so hard..."  "We're both so busy...."   "It's tough right now, but we're doing fine."  There's information there, but it's not really a straightforward answer to what you were asked.  When negative changes happen in a relationship, you can be sure that everything has turned to code.

"Ill be home late" turns into "I am working so hard for you."  "Where would you like to eat...no not there..." morphs into "I'm always thinking about what you would like to do."  "The reason I didn't get your messages is because my phone wasn't working..." becomes "That's crazy that he knew I sent him several messages...I didn't say a word about sending messages....we must have a psychic connection."

Sometimes, your relationships start with code.  No matter when it begins, you pull out your secret relationship decoder ring, put it on and get to work.  But...then...it's your secret decoder ring not theirs.  It has the answers you want to hear and not what is actually being said.  Even the fact that you are in a relationship comes to you as coded information.  A mere breathing in and out, on their part, becomes breathless anticipation of the moment you will touch their sleeve or hold their hand.  The fact that they keep their fingers extended in your grasp only means that they want their full palm to touch yours.

You become so adept at figuring out answers to their codes that it's a huge surprise, when your perfect match does or says something that is so straightforward that your secret decoder ring, with an expansion pack, doesn't work. So, you bang the ring on the table...so hard that the other person starts to cringe...obviously, because the noise is so loud, not because you aren't getting the hint.

As they walk out the door, you tell them that you've almost got the ring working, if they would just wait a minute.  When they say that things aren't working, you shout back to them that they lied to you about caring and you would never lie....But...you have...every day.  You lied to yourself.  All the information was there...it always was....your half full cup is the same half empty cup they originally offered you.  In your aggressive pursuit, you never noticed their passive resistance.  None of the negatives ever turned around just because you forced your positive magnet in their face.  The reason you felt that you were doing all work is because you were....all of it...both sides.  They didn't have to do anything but watch...then walk away.

With all of that positive energy that you are so willing to put into everything you do, you would think that you would attract wonderful relationships.  But, then maybe you are attracted to the negative....

Maybe you like everything in morose code....